Ok, I am just going to do my blog today since I had tons to do tomorrow...anyway, quite a lot of things happened this week.

First, well, they decided to send us to have a grade one practical test and grade two theory test if we can do well in the test this coming monday. Somemore, hopefully the school will be able to sponsor it...Keep your fingers crossed.I am going to study HARD for this test next week!Wish me luck!

Speaking of test...I study the theories for the quiz today but it was postponed...Haiz...However, luckily my jap test was ok! Haha. Full marks please???Next week, that's another test. I will also study HARD for it! Jia you!

Well, bascially I felt much more better these few weeks ( Don't worry Evie, I am ok!) I felt better and closer to my clique. That's GOOD!!!Haha. Hope it is just going to get better!!!

I SWEAR I am not even going to board the bus from my bus stop on friday. I was like at the front of the bus this morning. For the first time, I realsied how the cheese in sandwiches felt, it was so SQUEEZE! Therefore, from next week onwards, I am going to the interchange there to board the bus! Since, I had concession in my Ez link, don't waste it! Haha.

Belinda told us some of us FAIL the assignment...OH MY GOD!!!! Please don't let it be me...Praying hard now*...And that's these story (fairy tales) that we have to read. I had read one, it was like really yucky because the stepsisters cut off their toes and heels...Gotta go. See ya!

P.s.: The NYAA camp...they cancelled it...I was like all packed until I saw the email...WHAT THE!!!!

Ok, it has been like more than a week...I KNOW!!!Anyway, just got home from...shopping.Haha. In a way. Beacuse I have to go all the way to Bras Basah there to hand in the hearts...Luckily, huiling was with me so it was quite okay to get lost...haha.Sorry but we did not get lost. But the place was like inside the building (side door next to bank...)and BESIDE SMU, NOT opposite!!!(In a way...)When I got there and told the person, he was like HUH???Haha. Then, I had no choice but to tell him to put on Juliana's table...Hopefully he did that!

Then, huiling and me went to eat...then back to bugis to shop and then to suntec city and back to Raffles city to get the MRT, I change to LRT, then go bangkit to take photos...Ya, it was really tiring but fun. Haha.Ya, I even shot neoprint with huiling.YEA!!!Can put in purse or sth!
Tuesday, I did not do much.Just rest and read books, watch anime...but I was like really tired because I sleep at about 1am the night before..Plus Yi chun came to my house to use computer.

Monday.I went to NP library to borrow books again. ( I got like ten books now!!!Haha.) Hopefully, I will be able to finish all.Then went to Klavierensemble.Practice the 'Spring' song till my hands hurts...but I still can't count the beat well and my finger kept 'flying' up...maybe I will tape my fingers together...Haha.Jingxiang was like darn fast....feel stressed by him...Haiz.. Guess I must practice more...Ya, they also gave us 'Tong Hua' ( Two perosn playing together) Luckily, I got the easy one. Haha.Hopefully, I will be able to learn it well..Praying hard* Gotta go. See ya!

P.s.: My FP file lost!!!My mentor said she cannot find my file...guess I have no choice but to photocopy everything..Hiaz...bad luck...Praying hard somehow or rather my mentor can find it!!!*

You must be wondering...it is already the start of holiday then how come I am not updating my blog?!Ok, first, I don't think I can say much everyday and I don't think you want to hear me say 'I sleep, bath, study, went to school, come back ho,e, eat and sleep...'Haha.Second, I am NOT free at all. I got tons of assignments and things to be done!!!Ok, who say that I am in a relaxing course? (Glare at them) Haha.

Basically I am going to just tell you what I remember.( Bad memory, you see..)Ok. Today I got a full day attachment...details cannot tell you...I am really tired.Ok,that's all.Haha.

Ok,ok.Let's try yesterday. I went to school to do PPCM assignment...play laptop...got annoyed by my sister who don't let me offline...nudge me somemore...go for piano...play and learn a lot of new stuff...I really beginning to like this CCA a lot...apart from the theory part.Haha.
Ya! Last thursday...we wnet to do the IT project at library near Raffles city. At first, it was ok but the stupid connection got proble...( I can't find any network at all!!!)Went to eat dinner and go Dorothy's house.It was quite exciting though.Haha.Because that's the first time I stay out so late for assignment...In the end, finished the whole thing at 2am...And you know what? The next day, when we went to school, dying..the teacher told us the dateline was extended to next week!?WHAT THE!!!( Glare at teacher)Haiz...

Anyway, finally free tomorrow!!!YEA! I doing a father's day present with my sisters and Mum too. We are making a book with all our heartfelt words inside...Haha.I just LOVE that!!!Gotta go. Bye!

P.s.: I am going to get FULL marks for my Hiragana test!!!

P.s.s.: I got like THREE assignments to finish...and more coming out..AHHHHHHHHH! Better now.Haha.Somemore got more modules coming out...where's the stupid new timetable anyway? AHHHHHH!* Bang on wall.Haha.

P.s.s.s:ya, I neraly fainted on monday! Oh my god! That's is like so scary...

Ok, I am watching TV the whole day yesterday till 12.30pm so...no time to write.Haha.Anyway, this week was really busy.I sleep late almost everyday...my dark circles should be coming out...

Monday. I met Jingxiang and we went to the cca together.I don't really dare to go alone...haha.Not that they will eat me up or sth but well...weended up having a great time and I met another friend, Justin. In fact, we had the whole keyboard to ourselves.But I need tons of practice to catch up...And I think that's the only day, I laugh sp much since schools starts...haha.Although I got to kill hours before the class starts.

Tuesday.Attachment again...Well, the details you imagine yrself.Haha.Then went off to IT lesson...nearly doze off...went to do assignment but since we had not really finish everything...we agreed to meet another day. And I rush my assignment till 12 something...
Wednesday. Another long day. We just have lessons and more lesson.How come during PPCM, it was always us who present? Guess we were really 'lucky'.Then during break, Dorothy they all doing play assignment so I just join Ferlicia and her group...Seriously, I think I can survive like that for three years...

Thursday. Holiday, yea! But I ended up going back to school for the assignment till 3 sth...Then, went to Jurong Point with my family and went out for dinner till about 8 sth...final check on my play assignment...till about 11 plus.

Friday. Beatrice was caught up in a traffic jam...as a result I think we lost some marks...never mind, we can always do better for the next assignment.And Beatrice, if you are reading, it is ok. We don't blame you.It is not you who want to be caught up in a traffic jam anyway. Stupid cars...haha.

Gotta go now.STUDY!!!Got quiz on wednesday...Must score well!!!Bye!!!
P.s.: the jap speaking test...hiaz...

Ok, I had decided to write my diary once a week.It had stareted to become quite busy these few days.In fact, I still have a lot of work to be done by today...so let's not waste time.
Basically last saturday and sunday...well, I also can't remember what I did...haha.Anyway, yi chun came to my house since her computer can't go internet(virus) and she told me she was really scared that she might retain due to her GP.Well, bascially I got only two words for her: Ganbatte! (Jia you, work hard in Jap)

On monday...actually I did not have to go to school since FNENG was shifted to tuesday because of having a test...but I went back anyway.Why? Because I join another cca!Haha.Ok, u must be thinking,"What? But you had two ccas!Are you carzy or are you too free?"Ans to that:Ok, I am crazy...but not really that free.I was just hoping that I can get a good cca record by the end of three years.Plus I always wanted to learn piano anyway.

On tuesday...crazy day.I got attachement in the morning(sorry, no details on that, must keep it confidential you see) then went to school, have lesson..then went for FNENG test...(please don't fail!!!Keep your fingers crossed!)Went home...dying...sleep...Haha.

Wenesday and thursday...nothing much except that I really study EXTRA hard for my CD quiz....I feel as if my brain is exploding...

Friday, ya, I sure got a lot to say!!!Cd quiz quite ok except spelling mistakesand I change the correct answer to the last question to a wrong one!!!Haiz...that's go my one mark...Guess what? I got no group for the play assignment and it is due next friday...

I don't really want to go into details for that but basically, it is definitely my fault.Haiz...Luckily, Beatrice's group got 5 people(I think) so I can join them but I have to redo my observation( if the child is not 4...please be 4...)on tuesday..as a result, they can't start the project because of me...I am so REALLY going to be hated by them for this...Hiaz...

So I decided i had to tell them a BIG sorry on monday when I meet them.Somemore Belinda and my mentor didn't reply my emial...I really hate waiting, it is killing me!!!That's all for now.Keep your fingers crossed.please let everything be all right!

P.s.: Change of plan, meeting them on tuesday.My mentor replied me and say the child is not 4!!!Oh my god!!!

Ok, it had been exactly one week since I had written anything...because it was kind of crazy these few days...The days passed as normal as possible(Thankz, god) although I did end up with a sore throat and a cold...plus a fever on tuesday.And the medicine made me so dizzy that I can't even walk in straight line...(Warning: Don't ever try to take in so many pills, it will kill you!)Well, I survive.

Basically, I stay back on tuesday for the vietnam briefing. I really had to learn how to cycle or I end up walking to the place for one hour...it will kill me!Plus the sabah trip has mountain climbling, therefore I surely cannot go...(but it is strange that only three guys going to sabah...I thought guys love all these things???)As for the china trip, if you want to go...be prepared to let the wild grass be your toilet, let the water stream be your bath tub.Actually, it will be quite an experience but well...daphnne got scared when her father told her things...then daphnne, Beatrice and me decided it was better to go vietnam although we don't know how big of the chances we will be going...but I will be saving up money!

On wednesday, I had the briefing on the community service...it was quite boring actually.Nobody really are listening but I still think it is good to participate in some of the events they were having.But first, I had to find someone to accompany me.
On thursday, I did the playdough...it was a failure the first time and I had to make two trips to the market to get the flour and salt...but luckily, the second time, we did it.My mother and me.Well, bacially you can't expect someone like me to do all by myself...I will surely burn down my kitchen...haha

On friday, one word, chaos.I can't find my japanese book in the morning(I even think that my sister accidentally bring the book with her)Found out that the book was squeezed inside the files...No IT lesson.Put my laptop back.Lesson and kill about 4 hours with my storybook in the library with dorothy, evie and weihan.Then, went for my jap class...there was a free ticket to go and see those japanese flowers but nobody wanted to go with me...(maybe I see if others are going?)Went home.Going to die already...Well, that's about all.Gotta go.Yi chun is coming.

Ok, I have decided that even if the pain is there, I will become whatever, I just live with it. Not that I had not been there before.Anyway, I will not try anything bad because i think that those who commit suicide are so stupid.They are just running away from their problem.Life is like that.You have ups and down.So it should be quite alright for me.Jia you!
It seemed ages that I had written something...Well, let's start.On thursday,ya, my Taekwando.It was the last lesson for me since they are going to learn kicking next week on wards...guess I just have to bring something there to do.I was feeling ok bu was like really dead tired...So in the end, I did not do much...Haha.

On friday, it was REALLY a long day.I was in school from 7.50am to 9.30pm.Wow, it was like my longest record so far...Huh?Why I went so early?Because I thought they were doing the FNENG thing at 8am...but in the end, I found out that they did not really confirm to do that...Haiz...I was wonderig why I kept getting fool this year...

Then, lecture, lecture and more lecture...I was really tired...During PMDYC, Belinda told us that if we had any problems, we can find them.You know, honestly, when she say that I feel like crying because I can really feel how that feel...Hiaz...Then during CD, there was this activity on baby's pictures...well, of course, I can't really know who is that baby...ok.Give up.And what's more, the lesson end at 3.50pm...we stay in the room and my laptop can't go into internet...(stupid laptop!)So,luckily, I brought a book with me.

Then, I was off to my Japanese lesson. I was like there for 50 minutes before I went for my NYAA meeting.I really regretted stopping the Japanese lesson halfway...because my interview was like at 9 something...Haiz.But luckily, I met some new friends and we sort of like give riddles to kill time.Phew.I was like only back at home at 10pm something.Haiz...tough life.
As for today, I got mentoring scheme.I was like there really early because I don't know the meeting time(Really, I am beginning to think I am cursed...)I saw kamilah and they lead us to the primary school by WALKING...( my breakfast gone now...)We then went there and play games.I also meet a few people there.Then, there are already like tons of meeting planned...so basically, I have to stay back on tuesday, wednesday, friday and go to school on saturday...Really tough life...gotta go.See ya.

P.s.:Why everything seems to fall on friday?I got japanese class!!!Hello!!!

P.S.S: Why I am thinking that I kept getting a signal that'Please don't come near me!' from everyone???

P.S.S.S:Because of the interview thing, I might be marked absent for that lesson...Plus I don't think I can obtain a post...going to check later.

P.S.S.S.S: I got struck outside the MRT again...Hiaz...plus luckily the game started because we were playing this game call'Big fish, Small fish'...I was the one who was going to do forfeit.(Twice already)

Ok, yesterday attachement went well, the children were so cute!!!Sorry but I can't reveal anything more...School policy.Must keep it confidential.
You know what?Ok, my emotion was pouring out...I might not be able to contain it anymore...so beware of my outburst.

On top of that, I was overwhelmed by the assigenment coming your way...Wow! It was like so MANY?Somrmore we still got test...no time for playing anymore!Plus I was like in different group with different people for all module(nearly),How can I meet all of them?Lucky dorothy they all...all together except me....ok.Fine.Never mind.Seriously, I was quite upset....they were like always together for their assignments...while I had to join another group....seriously, nobody spare a thought for my feelings...it is lamost like I am out of their clique...plus they were always together for assignment.They were drifting nearer to each other...me? I am dirfting further away from them...

ok, conclusion:I am DEFINITELY not ok at all.I am sick of telling myself I can do it, just give yourself some time!I am sick of being so quiet!I am sick of getting upset and hurt everday!I am sick of lying to myself that I am ok!Truth:I am never ok!!!It is really getting worse for me! I can really feel the emotions...drowning me.Ok, let's get ready for an outburst.I am so NOT happy when I started poly,I am so NOT happy when I am in class esp FNENG( I feel so alone!!)Neither am I feeling happy after school, during the weekend...I need help.Seriously.maybe I should have just talk to my friends, tell them how I feel...but that's is definitely going to end up ugly since I always tend to get more and more upset when I am talking...What should I do?HELP!!!

Ok, i wasn't really feeling well this few days...the 'Dark' side of me kept coming this few days...even today...ok.I try to calm myself down so nothing really happen...Phew.But, it is really strange how my heart hurts when actually nothing was hurting me...ok, maybe the clique thing(wei han never include me)...well, I keep telling myself sometimes it is normal for people to left out someone.Everybody made mistakes!Why are you so sensitive?Plus...sorry but I am not telling.

Ya,Don't worry, at least I am back.For now.These few days have been quite tough for me because of the stupid dark side.Never mind, i just keep myself busy will do.
Yesterday is mother's day.I make a book mark for my mother and my younger sister make a card and a box with a paper rose inside but well, you see...the box is actually a box for facial cream and my mother thought it was facial cream or sth but...(lightning and thunder)...a paper rose.Haha.It is a pity.I didn't saw her expression since I went out to borrow books(again)Haha.
As for today, I went early to study since they say they wanted to study but when I arrived there I was like 'Huh?Nobody there?'(because they always early(Evie and Dorothy)mostly)I even think I was being fool...so quickly sms again to Dorothy.She say she will be late....then sms again to Weihan and Evie...Wei han also late...Evie did not reply...so I ended up sitting there waiting and studying.But really, how can you study when there was this'bo...' thing ( construction work) going on?I really don't know but at least I did study for about 30 minutes...

Then, Wei han came(finally) and we sit there, back to study, waiting for Dorothy...I got a headache and give up.Just stare into space till about 11am.(Already like 1 hour)before weihan and me go library...( cannot stand it, stupid construction work!!!!)
Ya, just sit down do the owrk for about 45 mins?Then we went to eat.By the time, Dorothy was not coming....so ok.Fine.But you want know sth?It was really quiet throughout the whole thing....I ask question and weihan goes 'Ya' then he asks questions then i go'ya'....MSN, where are you?Ok, conclusion:Better to talk in MSN then face to face.Really, I never been so quiet before....ok, maybe in early years but...bad memories, better don't mention.

Well, the day continue and it is really HOT!!!And I went home after lesson.Then, it came again...the 'Dark' side of me.Ok, it was like really strong...but luckily it pass after I watch TV and take a nap.Phew.Strange.It has really been years since I feel that...better keep myself busy.
Plus I also find out that I am quite a greedy person....when I started poly, I wanted a lot of friends.I got it.then, I wanted a clique.I got it.Now, I want true best friends...it is really a SIN to be so greedy...How can I be like that???Haiz...gotta go.Bye.

P.s.:The mentor people call yesterday.Going this saturday to primary school...hope it turns out well...

P.s.s: Tomorrow attachment....please, let everything be all right!!!Keep your fingers crossed!

Ok, jus wheni say i am alright....the feeling back again.This time more worse...I seriously think sth is wrong...how come my mood swing r like so bad? I don't even hav time to write in my handwritten diary...i can really feel my heart tearing apart...hurting but yet i don't even know why...let's see.Go back time.Wat did i do?i post my blog...surf net....go weihan's blog...watch anime...hmm...nothing wrong wat.Ok.Calm down.Take three deep breath...1,2,3.It is getting worse...Hey, inner, weak,self of me, can u stop that?where r u, happy side of me? I need u badly...please come back...ok.Gd. Now, i am like on the verge of tears...rem wat u promise yrself....no more tears.No way i am going back to me when i was young....Jus SHUT UP!!!Now, i am really scared...since when this occur to me? Ya, back in sec 2 wheni am running halfway...it is back.The power of 'Darkness' in me...Relax.It is ok.U r fine.I am really scared...i feel really terrible...stupid mood swing...Jus SHUT UP!!!......ok,.I can handle this...i jus go to sleep now...everything will be ok.

ok, my blog will be here from now on!!!! Please take note!!! Thanks! I try to see if I can post all my past blog entry here..hopefully...Praying hard* I go try now...